For the past two years I have been dishing out the SOGO (Senselessness of Ghanaian Origin) Awards. Often, I sit in my kitchen (or loo) to select the award winners. This year, the competition is so tight I don’t want to be the only one deciding who wins what.
This is where you come in.
Please nominate people for the following categories.
- Loose talker of the year – Awarded to the person who has successfully failed to co-ordinate his tongue and brains, in such a manner that anything he/she says is outright dubious, needlessly controversial and/or totally senseless.
- Brofo yedur speaker of the year – Awarded to the person who delivered an unnecessarily large number of verbal scud missiles. This is also known as the Krobo Edusei Memorial Award.
- Konongo Kaya of the year – This is a very special award to recognize the obstinacy of one individual who has decided to take up a job he knows he has neither the qualification nor the competence to accomplish and yet, he refuses to give up the job in question.
- Lazy bones of the year – As the name implies, this is to recognize the country’s most underperforming individual or group of individuals. This is for those who have made the heaviest weather of what we pay them to do, thereby messing up a lot of things for us all. Selecting the winner of this category will not be easy because… well… there are about 22 million incompetent people in the country right now.
- Jack and Jill Story of the year – There are certain stories that made our jaws drop to the ground in utter disbelief. In other words, these are the stories that are best told to little kids in village kindergartens. So the Jack and Jill story of the year award is to recognize the tall tales that should not even be told to the toddlers at Merton Montessori.
- Patapaa of the year – this is to reward the person who doesn’t know that when you are beaten senseless, you can save yourself from further torrential hostilities by throwing in the towel.
- Skin pain campaign of the year – This is in recognition of the most successful ‘ahooyaa’ campaign of the year.
- Fad of the year – Ghanaians tend to be a very ‘copiatus’ bunch. One person does something and everybody else starts doing the same. The ‘fad of the year’ is to recognise our senseless copiatus tendencies.
- Song of the year – This is the track that did not only get us grooving to its beats but also forced us to brood over some pertinent issues.
- Frequent flyer of the year – this award was specially created for just one man. With or without your nomination, he will win it this year too.
Award winners will be named a week before my birthday – on radio!
